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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30012564">chaos (the group chats)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticpendragon/pseuds/mysticpendragon'>mysticpendragon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the fam group chat universe [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fam Group Chat Universe, Golden Girls, Good Omens (TV), Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Author doesn't know what he's writing about, Cannibalism (Mentioned), Chaos, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Destiel. Deserved. Better, Gay, M/M, Religious Content, Religious Discussion, Religious Imagery &amp; Symbolism, absolute mayhem, canon noncompliant, dear god what am i getting into, due to the nature of some of these fandoms, gay chaos, trying to write fics for fandoms im not in</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:27:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>966</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30012564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticpendragon/pseuds/mysticpendragon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziraphale: Word around the block is Destiel is becoming canon</p><p>Crowley: finally</p><p>Crowley: about time that angel got LAID</p><p>Aziraphale: Yes, I think I won’t mention our past together</p><p>Crowley: aziraphale x castiel?? hot</p><p>pls send help i dont know what i've created</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale (Good Omens)/Crowley (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the fam group chat universe [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>chaos (the group chats)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Full disclaimer before you even read this thing – for many of these fandoms, I have no clue what I'm talking about -- so if characters seem out of character, events don't match up and contradict canon, etc. -- that's not an issue I'm going to fix. The entire premise of this fic, when I pitched it to my Discord server, is "what if I wrote a crack fic about fandoms I'm not even in?" Hence, this. I am going off of whatever fanfics and Tumblr posts I've read and bits and pieces I've watched, so obviously I'm going to get things wrong. That's ok. That's the whole point of this fic. (Who knows? Maybe you won't even notice haha)</p><p>Anyway, in chapter 1, the only fandom I have actually watched more than one episode for is The Golden Girls –- which is an absolute classic, would definitely recommend watching.</p><p>Final note before we start: This fic is part of a greater universe which currently also includes group chat fics for Doctor Who, Once Upon a Time, and the MCU. You usually don't need knowledge of the others to enjoy a particular fic.</p><p>Now that that's out of the way – this fic isn't serious. At all. Enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>carry on wayward son</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> i just woke up from a nightmare where cas confessed his undying love for me, got sent to the empty, and then sam and i went on a case and i got killed by a vampire or some shit like that</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> that wasnt a nightmare you just had a vision of the Bad Place™</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> lmao could you believe if that actually happened??? lmao what a joke</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> hahahahahaha i’m fine.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Castiel:</b>
  <span> Ahahahaha that would never happen</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> ^^^</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> Because author looked at the queerbaiting kill-your-gays showrunners and said “not doing it sorry”?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> no</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> i don’t like cas like that, but even if i did, he doesn’t like me bakc</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Castiel:</b>
  <span> ahahahahahaha</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> how you enjoying narnia so far, dean? must be nice to be so deep in the closet you find it</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> Are you shitting me?? you two being together is so powerful it made putin resign</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> I thought they said he wasn’t??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> shush sam that’s not the point</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Castiel:</b>
  <span> Dean can I see you for a moment</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> better give them a room</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> DESTIEL RIGHTSSSS</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DeanWinchester:</b>
  <span> what the fuck is a destiel</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> you’ll know soon ;)</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> I am so ready for them to get together</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> right</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> i’m so glad this fic ignored canon</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> Yes, to the point that we could be OOC for all we know</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> true true</span>
</p><p>
  <b>JackKline:</b>
  <span> is that moaning i hear??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SamWinchester:</b>
  <span> no it’s the sound of destiel becoming canon</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ineffable Husbands (or apocalypse buddies)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> Word around the block is Destiel is becoming canon</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley:</b>
  <span> finally</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley:</b>
  <span> about time that angel got LAID</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> Yes, I think I won’t mention our past together</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley:</b>
  <span> aziraphale x castiel?? hot</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> Crowley no!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley:</b>
  <span> if you want me to shut up you’re going to have to make me</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> You’re making me want to do some sinful things to you</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley:</b>
  <span> do it</span>
</p><p>
  <b>WarlockDowling:</b>
  <span> ahem</span>
</p><p>
  <b>AdamYoung:</b>
  <span> may we remind you that apocalypses demons and assorted bizarre phenomena aside we are m i n o r s</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley: </b>
  <span>Stop corrupting the youth Aziraphale!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> mXCUSE ME???</span>
</p><p>
  <b>WarlockDowling: </b>
  <span>alright who showed him tik tok</span>
</p><p>
  <b>AdamYoung:</b>
  <span> Oops it must have been the leftover evil tendencies in me</span>
</p><p>
  <b>WarlockDowling:</b>
  <span> Ah yes the antichrist</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> Don’t remind me</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley: </b>
  <span>Now, about shutting me up? My mouth is open and ready</span>
</p><p>
  <b>WarlockDowling:</b>
  <span> ew</span>
</p><p>
  <b>AdamYoung:</b>
  <span> dude we’re like 11 can you don’t</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crowley:</b>
  <span> You heard the kids, Azzy. Now get over here</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Aziraphale:</b>
  <span> … Coming, Crowley.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>AdamYoung:</b>
  <span> my poor ruined innocence</span>
</p><p>
  <b>WarlockDowling:</b>
  <span> your biological dad was literally the devil what innocence do you have</span>
</p><p>
  <b>AdamYoung: </b>
  <span>none now that they scarred it :/</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Thank You for Being a Friend</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> Alright, which one of you took my shampoo?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Well I had this recipe from st. olaf that I just had to try and recreate!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Remind me not to eat a single bite out of whatever the hell is on the kitchen island.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> It’s only the mayor’s wife’s great-aunt-third-removed’s famous st olaf zlorgenblörgen!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> What, pray tell, is a zlorgenblörgen?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> You’re just going to have to try it!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Better you than me!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> You took my shampoo to make zlorgenbawhatsit??!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> If you’ve got a problem with that, you can take it up with my fists!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> Rose, I’ve got a date tonight!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Well you’ll just have to count on your womanly wiles!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Shouldn’t be too hard for you, right Blanche?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> unless</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> Unless what, Dorothy?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Why don’t you fill in the blanks?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Rose, can you explain why we ran out of ziti?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Oh, for dinner I’m making the famous St. Olaf zittenbitten!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> What’s the secret ingredient, toothpaste?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Goat milk cheese!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Well at least we’ll have something edible to eat tonight</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Just to be on the safe side, I’ll eat after you’ve eaten</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Better you than me, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> Girls, I’ve got a crisis here! I’ve got a date and I can’t even wash my hair!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Why are you so worried? We all know it’s going to end the same way as all the other ones anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> And how’s that, Dorothy?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> With you hot and heavy in bed and the rest of us unable to get a good night’s sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> If you do that, could you please not bang against the headboard so loudly?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> And stop stealing my handcuffs!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> What do you have handcuffs for??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Do you really want to know?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Yes</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> No</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> No!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Well, Sophia, it’s probably better if I show you!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Well in that case, I’d rather have some zlorgenblörgen than find out.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Oh, good! I’ll cut you a slice then</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Mamma mia…</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> WHO SMASHED MY ZLORGENBLÖRGEN?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> Sorry, honey, but my hair needed that shampoo more than our stomachs did.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> That recipe was so hard to perfect!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux: </b>
  <span>You know what else is hard?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> What?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Getting through last night’s episode of the Bachelor, Rose.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux: </b>
  <span>Never mind, Rose.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Well fine then</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> The next time you smash my zlorgenblörgen you’ll be the secret ingredient to my hundenbrunden!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> And what is that, Rose, next Thanksgiving dinner?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Yes, and you’ll be the main course if you keep talking to me like that, you punk!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> You go, Rose!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Ma! Rose is talking about… unhuman things!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> So? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> It’s demented!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> Everyone does unhuman things! Rose cooks… unsavory things, Blanche does unsavory things, and you are an unsavory thing!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak: </b>
  <span>Stop it, Ma!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>SophiaPetrillo:</b>
  <span> You know I’m right.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BlancheDeveraux:</b>
  <span> She’s got a point, Dorothy.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> Sometimes you just really want to go at someone.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RoseNylund:</b>
  <span> Who?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>DorothyZbornak:</b>
  <span> The damn author who put us in this fic, Rose!</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Discord Server invite link -– come join for gay chaos and spoilers of the entire Fam Group Chat universe: https://discord.gg/ufTEdWM</p></blockquote></div></div>
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